..nothing Much

So what is it abut Bithdays thjat make is so stupid?

Superbowl PRE GAME

So far.... I don't need to see any of the other Super Bowl commercials...the narration by Russell Crowe during the pre game show was hands down by the far the most moving and inspiring short film- or commercial. I was surprised it not up on YouTube yet-

Paula Abdul.. You were this close to another "Britney" proformance train wreak- STOP lip syncing!

Alicia Keys is just a true Talent.

Tom Petty - 1/2 time entertainment? - gee who thought that one up?? since probably half the guys playing the game on each team have no idea who He even is- I -myself cannot even remember his last record. I guess we shall see what happens - but C'mon- there are so many talented artists out there right now - that were overlooked . To bad-

Jordan Sparks singing the National Anthem? - covers My ears-

Prediction - Giants by a Field goal-

Happy New Year

I guess I would be untruthful if I didn't say that I was happy this year was over, and I really don't have a "New Years Resolutions" except one, and that is for me to know.
My Seasonal time was bad, and I really was looking forward to this time of year. Starting off with purchasing a great pair of boots that I couldn't afford at all but thought how great they be for all the events. They never came out of the box.
Starting off with a 50th anniversary party where my outfit was so outdated , due to a time factor, I fit into the "what was she thinking" category. Then the planning of a surprise party that never happened and becoming totally chaotic, but big lessoned learned there, on listening and gift giving, and NEVER messing with another's motorcycle no matter how good the intentions are, guess the whole lesson actually was there are consequences with "good intentions" .
After that, a very uncomfortable Thanksgiving, one of the worst, realizing that Family can drift apart just like anything -or- anyone else, and it certainty doesn't have to. Make the most of the time.
December held the same deck of cards, beginning with a mad dash for "Guitar Hero" and the only light spot through this all, was when I got it, actually feeling "cool" with that in My hands, I had joy in showing that off on the way to the car.
At that point it was the little things. Though, that lead me on literally countless chases for "Rockband" which didn't fit any of my systems, ultimately , I had a WII, a PS 2, PS 3, and an XBOX all at the same time to be ready for the right "Rockband" that would work, and finally finding one for the PS 3, and just to end up returning them all, "Rockband" included, because I thought it was crap. Yes , I know everyone thinks its great, but I think it was WAY over hyped, and obviously the mess I made with these video games was obviously a need to fill something missing from the season.
It was also the first time with no decorating, though I did try with a little tree, that was soon donated to a club, after I felt the tension from it. Supposedly I misread that and dashed out and got some lights, to decorate a indoor plant which was only lit once. Didn't see as many people as I had hoped to during the season and after countless pursuing, finally found some friends whom were having a Christmas eve dinner, which was much needed.
The next day, I had hope of a gift, and I had one ready just in case, but neither made their appearance. Soon after that found out the "New Years" plans that were had were moved to a location that was 5 hours away, so I am typing My blog for New Years, which is OK.
Maybe it all sounds cynical to some point, but there was a lot learned through all this, mostly I just rolled with it , no I'm lying, I was pissed at some of the events that took place.
Through it all, I realize (or think) we make our own luck, I used to think luck happened to people, but I almost positive we make it, simply by attitude alone.
This was proven when I took my displeasure to visit the "Vets" on Christmas day, and found my whole outlook on things had changed immensely.
And as much as change bothers me, there are a lot of things that I hope to change. Most of all to become more motivated with My art, and not bitch so much about it, wherever it goes it goes. And for that matter not bitch at people who work in stores.
I am also going to finish something I began 10 years ago....the rest ..is just the rest...and the last night of the "black blog" and hopefully get those boots out of the box, because in some ironic way they symbolize something now...going somewhere.

Are We to Honest?

It seems we are in a society that condones Honestly about everything. I personally think that honestly is good. I don't like lying or liars for that matter, but at the same time, I am not sure that I like all this honestly. Everyone is so open with their "stuff." Remember when less was better?I happen to think there is a level of privacy that should be maintained on certain things, I mean, I really don't want to know who in the public eye is in rehab, or pregnant, or has been abused. Especially after all you hear is celebrities moan about their lack of privacy, and then they run to talk shows and such and spill their most intimate details. What happened to mystery? I would hate to think what would happen if I told the absolute honest truth about everything that happened in My life. No way. And now I hear about it from everyone else. Sure, there is that little bit of "glad its them and not me," but nonetheless, I'd prefer to have those sordid little details left out. And for that matter- sometimes I even like to be lied to, in a complementary sort of way, what's wrong with that. Being so honest can hurt just as bad as a lie. Maybe I am just a cynical bitch. How is that for "honesty."?

Jamie Lynn Spears ...give Me a break..

What the heck is up with these people?
First. it just seemed like Britney was the "train wreak", but as our ever so informative media tells us, it seems the rest of the "family" is just as bad.
Now we find out the little sister of Britney who is 16 years old is pregnant.
Now, this is one time I am not going to blame the media for this fiasco, because the girl , Jamie Lynn and her family [Yea, that would be You, her Mother] and all her people, esp Nickelodeon should of kept their mouths shut on this.
Are we kidding here?? This girl has her own show on a Children's Network and is pregnant taking like an adult about how she is keeping the child , raising it on her own [yea, sure] and seems to have no idea of what faces her. I don't give a rats ass how much money someone has in this situation, look what her older sisters cash did for her. Nothing.
And this girl, and the people around her and even the media so far think this is OK?.
And a huge SHAME ON YOU to Nickelodeon, who is standing by her?
FIRE the girl! What are all these people thinking?
In no way, am I judging people and things, I believe that everyone has a right to do as they please in their own lives, but this girl is sixteen and it bothers me that no one sees a problem here, like this is some kind of good news ? Plus, I have never seen a bunch of people so fricken staved for attention?
And the media says, "oh this is good to open people's eyes to "safe sex" , give me a break! This was /is an issue that has been going on for years, please lets not give credit to the whack job Spears Family for this, what's next giving them the Nobel Prize?
I surely hope in the days and weeks to come that this situation is put into the right perspective and not taken as some kind of celebration.

Psychic energy..is it there?...
What about signs? Not the ones on the streets and in towns. The ones that are supposed to mean something significant. You see signs talked about a lot in the media, and Hollywood has surely focused in on this. Most notability so in the 2002 movie "Signs" and the 1989 movie "Field of Dreams."
Lately, a lot of respectable media outlets are interviewing people who are "supposed" experts in this.

In psychodynamic psychology, psychic energy, or psychological energy, was believed to be a form of energy by which the work of the personality is performed.[1] The concept of mental energies moving or displacing between various adjoined, conscious and unconscious, mental systems was developed predominantly in Sigmund Freud's 1923 The Ego and the Id. In psychoanalytic theory the source of psychic energy was the id. Although this theory is now obsolete, it caused or contributed to an expectation that actual energy (such as electromagnetic vibrations) can emanate from people, and even ghosts, and that this energy is detectable by scientific sensory equipment (such as voltage and electromagnetic field detectors.)
-From Wikipedia

There was a time I really believed in "signs." I suppose all this may fall under the myths and legends, beliefs, even energy flow.
With the risk of not sounding like a complete kook or one of those "Miss Cleo" types who used to run those fake psychic networks, there is an aspect of this that does have an interest to me in the way we live our lives,

Are signs are really out there? and if they are, are we in tune enough to see them? Back in archives of this blog I posted about seeing a shooting star, which I thought was good luck. I also posted a picture of a grasshopper that fell on me out of nowhere. another sign of luck.
So far, I cannot attribute any those things bringing "good luck." I can however remember the day I moved and the last thing I saw while leaving my old home was a dead frog on its back. There was this overwhelming feeling of dread that came over me at the time, I was sure I couldn't escape the meaning of it no matter how hard I tried to shrug it off. And I was right, It turned out to be one of the worst days of my life. I tried to shake off that image and that it has nothing to do with anything, but there was no way, and the day went on to sink me into an abyss of events that were just horrible.
So maybe it goes back to not so much "signs" but "energy."
Is there really good and bad energy out there?
That I do believe, Have you ever be around someone or something and just feel like crap? I have. Same for the other side of it. Being around someone or something great and feeling that greatness, felt that as well.
I know for sure, since I have been around the negative people how I feel, but I have never been around someone that was considered great. For instance, Bill Gates, would I be any more successful if I got to spend an evening talking with him? Would My energy level go up? Changes are they would. Would signs change?
The topic now on most news shows are "star power" backing potential candidates. Note the word "power." What is it that makes people powerful? I got to thinking about a statement that Heather Mills, the soon to be former wife of Beatle Paul Mccartney said: "My husband is so powerful that all he has to do is step up and tell the media I am not a bad person,". Which I personally don't believe. Point is, she is right. Though I do feel that Paul Mccartney is not doing that for her because she doesn't deserve to be spoken about in such a way, Though had he, the women's life would change. Paris Hilton, another complete waste of time and film for that matter, shows that with enough money, can generate enough positive press about herself to make herself a "powerful" person. Are these people anymore happy or on a more positive energy flow? Do they in some way still look for signs in ways to show how their life is going?

You don't have to look far to read about things related to ones energy flow or lack there of. There are speakers, books, talisman, and of course crystals that supposedly knock out or knock in energy flows. For I while I was in this "saging" kick, and dropped that, like almost everything mentioned above. Some people swear by it and good for them I hope it works, I have not found any of those things to make a significant difference in my life.

I do without a doubt believe that there is negative and positive energies in the world and they have some effect on people and their individual personalities. "Ying-Yang"
The trick is how to move from one end of that to the other, and is there a "gray" area in there?
I am certainly not saying that everyone can be happy all the time, things happen, but I think people that move within the space of more positive energy handle these things better, I do believe that there are people that live negatively more than 90% of the time. and things only get worse. Could it be that the "signs" of good luck that come to negitive people would be more effective if they were more positive? Do we actually have the ability to "out-cancel" the things or people that we feel are bad?
I always liked the word "out-cancel", it was a word I came across years ago when I was researching Wicca for an art project. My understanding of the word is that if someone does something bad to you in some way, you can pick up on it and "out-cancel" their request so to speak.
Honestly, I am not talking about Magic here or spells, I am really talking about "words." I think Words are the most powerful things we have at our disposal. The use of words can literally destroy you or put you in a better place. One if the best pieces of advice I got was to shut my mouth.
Maya Angelo talks about how words just "hang in the air" and spoke about a dinner party she had where one if her guests begun to speak badly about another person and said "Not in this house you don't!"
How many times have you said something bad and wish you could just take it back, but you can;t because it is out there.

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolutions. -Kahlil Gibran

Keeping my mouth closed is not an easy thing for me, especially since I like to talk a lot, maybe that is why I write. But I have found that my mouth has got me in a lot of trouble at times, and over the years I have learned you don't always need to express every thought in your head orally to a person, nine times out of ten they probably don't want to hear it anyway, and I could be vicious.
"The Ego" as Marianne Willimson put it "is suspicious at best, vicious at worst."

There are speakers and books out there constantly talking about if you change the way you think, it can change the way things happen within your life.
So, where do we start with shifting these thoughts? - again what Marianne Willimson refers to as "miracles" Do we begin in our own heads? Knock out all the bad thoughts we have about how we look, and our fears, what someone said about us that was mean? Wouldn't it be great to just be able to erase all those thoughts and feelings like a giant eraser? The ability to stop having them play over and over again in out own minds.
Last week, I was in a situation that spilled over into my boyfriends life, where it could have escalated into other peoples lives. I was upset over this for most of the day, couldn't sleep that night as it continued to the rest of the day, I decided to try and change my "thoughts" on this matter,being the skeptic that I am on this, I took all the thoughts that were running in my mind about this, and turned them around into how I hoped this situation would turn out, And what happened? It worked. This was and is an extremely difficult process for me, because I still have a hard time believing that whatever you think happens. But this DID work.
...to be continued.

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” -Kahlil Gibran

Chilling autumn rains
Curtain Mount Fuji, then make it
More beautiful to see.
-Basho